My Top Ten Corkers for 2008 !
Counting down from Number 10!
10: Tell the groom to put his hands on top of the brides hands & once they've done that say "This is the last time you'll have the upper hand in this marriage!" :)
9: Marriage is an ongoing comedy show so you'll have plenty of time for slap stick humor babe.
8: "Remember John you must always bear in mind that there are more than two rings in a marriage .barring the obvious ,there's also the suffeRING, enduRING, and tortuRING."
7:"May your love be as deep as the snow in the Glen, and your troubles as few as the teeth in a hen" and another one which I did not understand at the time was "Lang may your lum reek" which means "Long may your chimney smoke" meaning you would always have a warm house to go home to I think!! - Not really a corker- but moving!
6: "50 years ago today (insert names here) got married, and speaking on behalf of myself, my brother and sisters, we're very glad they did."
5: "And blessed be to the whore and let them enjoy each others company in the bed room"
4: "you got married, well done, i made a short toast"
3: "Well I'm not sure it'll last "50 years, but it's obvious you're not queers"
(Assuming it's not a gay marriage! But then again just delete the "not")
2: Here's to you, and here's to me,
The best of friends, we'll always be,
And if we ever disagree,
then f*** yourself, and here's to me!!!
1: Get a bunch of keys
Give one to each to a group of friends.. men & women, waiters , musicians the more the better.
Elaborate on the numerous relationships she has had & that now she is married it might be a good time to return the keys she had given out.
Have the friends line up & pile the keys in front of her
Check Out the relevant Ebooks Below To Plan Out Your "Kick-Ass Killer Wedding Speech"
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| Father of the bride speeches: How to be Rather Witty and Well Prepared! |
| Groom Speeches: Make Sure You Say the Right Words at the Right Time! |
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FOR MORE HELP: PLEASE VISIT
| | | Father of the bride speeches: How to be Rather Witty and Well Prepared! | | Groom Speeches: Make Sure You Say the Right Words at the Right Time! | | |
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